Tardigrades are the galaxy’s toughest little drama queens—microscopic immortals on a quest to take the longest nap in history. In this upside-down kindness war, “lava for me, hugs for you,” bad is good, good is bad, and the cutest cryptobiosis wins.
Shuffle the 78-card deck, flip one card to start the discard, and you’re off. On your turn, draw 3 cards (you may take the top of the discard as one of them). You must play all 3: one on yourself, one on an opponent, and your last card goes to the discard—unless you spend the turn firing a Meh combo (then discard anything left). You can’t end a turn holding cards. Save exactly one Meh in front of you for future combos, and when a Special (Eternal Darkness, Unconditional Love, Go Again) gets discarded, it sinks to the bottom of the discard pile. “Go Again” is a cosmic re-roll: discard it as your last play, draw 3 more, take another turn—chainable if you find more.
Your goal is four stacks in your area with Personal Apocalypse showing on top of each. Fill your 4 spots; once every spot has a card, new cards stack over old—top card rules. Play Personal Apocalypse on yourself, Toxic Positivity on opponents. Eternal Darkness protects you (only Personal Apocalypse can be played on you) until cleared by a 4×Meh action or an Unconditional Love; Unconditional Love jams an opponent (only Toxic Positivity can be played on them) until cleared by a 4×Meh or you play Eternal Darkness on that opponent. Meh combos: 2×Meh = move one (ditch a Toxic from you, or dump a Personal Apocalypse from an opponent); 3×Meh = steal a Toxic from an opponent onto your area; 4×Meh = purge all bad from you or all good from one opponent (also wipes their Darkness/your Love accordingly). First tardigrade to show Personal Apocalypse on all four spots wins.
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